Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Wednesday, 04 November 2009

  • Metamorphosis

    Over the space of a year and a bit, I've learnt:

  • I'm less sure of myself and more sure of Grace
  • The 'right' way isn't always the best way. That new inventions exist because someone lost the user's manual.
  • Just because you're young doesn't mean you don't know better.
  • People rather complain than change.
  • If you mean something, put it into action.
  • When you tell me to shut up, it's probably a good time to.
  • People who are negative are also surprisingly self-centred. And it's ok if we didn't hang out with them so much.
  • That I need to practice saying no. AND sleeping is NOT a waste of time.
  • That friends make a whole lot of difference. And friends come in different shapes and sizes.
  • It's not my job to be perfect. It's my job to improve. I shouldn't take criticism so hard.

    • Steamboat
    You really are a good teacher.

Currently
This Is It
By Michael Jackson
Listening to it in my head
see related

Thursday, 17 September 2009

  • It just kills me


    "Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'"

    "Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing."

    "So what?"

    "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."

    It could have been the turning point for me.
    I also have a weird take on romance.

Monday, 02 February 2009

  • "I would like to believe there is a God, but I think it is better to say I'm not sure there is a God and live your life with kindness and respect for people than to say I know there is a God and then do bad things,"
    ~ Rafael Nadal makes a point.

    I have been reading up on Nadal all day cos I think I've officially become a fan after rooting for him only casually at Roland Garros, more seriously at Wimbledon and then wholeheartedly yesterday at the Australian Open.

    So when I read the quote attributed to him (rightly or wrongly, I don't know) I thought, hmm.. what should I make of that?

    Old-fashioned evangelicals would admonish my train of thought saying "faith, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" and "without faith, it is impossible to please God". Well then, my personal challenge is like this. Is the mere 'faith' in the existence of God enough to make a freakin difference in our lives? Or must this faith also account for the way we live out our beliefs in relating to the Divine, incorporating His precepts, living out His purposes and seeking His will?

    To say 'there is no God' then live selfishly is surely more forgivable than saying 'I'm a Christian' and be totally indifferent to His will for creation. What sets us apart from the aetheist?

    Paul Bendor (or was it Bender? I forget) who spoke this Sunday made a good case in saying that God's Kingdom comes to all, whether or not we acknowledge it or not. Stories of people who have worked for rewards bigger than a paycheque, nice home, nice family, good standing in the community surely made me think of how I was going to live. They believed, but not only do they believe, they got on board and laboured towards God's mission.

    Could it be possible to have a few chance (grace?) encounters with Jesus, call him Lord, call yourself a Christian and yet not acknowledge the works and signs of His Kingdom in our daily lives? Evaluating myself, I'm beginning to think, fearfully, that yes, it may be highly possible.

    My faith is yes, there is a God. His name is Jesus.

    My challenge is - SO WHAT? How does it make me different from the unbelieving? How does my faith change me? Does it make my environment better or does it just make me a pious, inward-looking church-goer?

    1. How do I treat the people around me?
    2. What value do I place on material things vs. eternal things?
    3. What kind of importance do I put on following the Architect's plan vs. doing it my way?
    4. How am I caring for the environment? Animals?
    5. Does my life's work contribute to God's will and design for his Kingdom or subtract from it?

    This sounds serious. I don't think I can be bothered with any of the above if I have to muster my own resolve and righteousness to do it. I can only rely on the free-flowing Grace.

    Maybe I call it a day with the Nadal-lusting and go spend some time with God. What a plan. 

    "Let temporal things serve your use...but the eternal be the object of your desire" ~ Thomas a Kempis
    Currently
    Year of the Gentleman
    By Ne-Yo
    see related

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

  • THE POWER OF ONE

    leaves

    Change. We all dream it but few of us effect it.

    In recent weeks, talk of change was unavoidable what with the political climate of America on the brink of an overhaul. Climate change, political change, change of heart, change of mind. It is exciting and uneasy. So often a call for change that has gathered momentum over time with followers amounting to the hundreds and thousands would be received with overwhelming zeal. Not so at the pioneering stages. *I recently made a shortsighted remark about what good candlelight vigils could amount to, I take it back*

    That's why celebrity endorsements are such an amazing marketing tool. Want consumers to change from their existing choice of product to your new unknown alternative? Get someone famous, influential, beautiful, experienced on board to say some nice things. Everyone can use a good spin doctor.

    We often pick up on the winds of change much later in the process...failing to see the upward battle, the sweat and tears and the challenges surmounted to bring about news of hope and of new things.

    Setting out to inspire change to an air of complacency and self-centredness, my friends joined their hearts to work on a Christmas project of hope. Not as a means of parading their art but as a catalyst of change in attitudes towards sharing, togetherness and reaching out. While many gave a pat on the back, a thumbs up and an encouraging 'good on ya', involvement that required self sacrifice came scarcer and colder.

    It is only when met with negativity and  mild opposition, that the difficulty of the task dawned on me. Filled with senseless joy and awareness of my own little involvement, I felt the bits of depression surrounding me in the past weeks snap away. I was on a mission to help mould a 'stupid' thing into something 'wonderful'.

    With one word, you could tear something down in the heart of another.
    It takes one more unbelieving juror to throw out an impending conviction.
    One detractor to demoralise a taskforce.
    One kind word to make a person's day.
    A moment of open heart to change the course of your own life.
    A heartfelt actor to capture an audience.
    One vote to strengthen one party and weaken the other, by one vote.

    I am one. Where do I cast my ballot?

    If we fail, we'd get up and do it again. If it is God's will that we succeed, then let's make some space in the bandwagon. I vote YES TO CHANGE.


Friday, 07 December 2007

  • You must increase

    Holiness, holiness is what I long for
    Holiness is what I need
    Holiness, holiness is what You
    want from me

    Holiness, holiness is what I long for
    Holiness is what I need
    Holiness, holiness is what You
    want from me

    So, take my heart and form it
    Take my mind and transform it
    Take my will and conform it
    To Yours, to Yours, oh, Lord

    Faithfulness, faithfulness is what I long for
    Faithfulness is what I need
    Faithfulness, faithfulness is what
    You want from me

    Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for
    Brokenness is what I need
    Brokenness, brokenness is what
    You want from me

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    And after all,
    in my aloneness, the darkness, my questions, my wonderment, the fear of men, uncertainty, the scrutiny, the ridicule, through joy of friendship, midnight tears, meaninglessness, broken dreams, new hope, deep silence, the trembling, the awe, my frailty..

    And in my humanness You're only drawing me deeper
    to You.
    to Love
    to Your people
    to the Image of You
    to Hope of Glory.

    And still the cry of my heart is Come
    Currently Listening
    Holding Nothing Back
    By Tim Hughes
    Living for Your Glory
    see related

Thursday, 01 November 2007

  • You and I are meant to be...but

    I may be wrong.
    You may be wrong

    I need to listen without prejudice
    You need to listen without presumption

    I check my conscience constantly
    You may check it too

    I need to believe in good
    You need to believe in good

    I have blind spots
    You have blind spots

    I'll give you the benefit of doubt
    I want yours

    I turn to God for guidance daily
    You turn to God for guidance daily

    I try
    You try

    I hold on to hope, faith and love
    You do too

    Then tell me, why do I feel this small next to you?


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    * Well, I could be you & you could be I.







    Currently Listening
    Speak for Yourself
    By Imogen Heap
    see related
  • Visit ZestiNy's Xanga Site
    • Name: sianhuey
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 2/25/2004